So, a few hours ago, I was swimming in the middle of some sort of vast body of water (disregard the fact that if you actually placed me in the middle of the ocean I’d panic, start screaming and crying, be seen by a shark as a piece of shrimp and therefore be torn to shreds). So I was swimming, and all I could see around me was blue, blue water. Water, water everywhere. Swimming alongside me was my friend Fred, some sort of fish I think, I can’t really remember anymore. It was fun, we had fun, Fred was nice. Then Fred turned to me and started talking in my mother’s voice. That was fine, Fred can choose to sound like my mother as much as he wants, thats what friends do (not really). Then the expanse of sparkling blue, blue ocean surrounding me promptly turned into blinding yellow light and I was awake.

I don’t think I can even say I was really AWAKE. I could not open my eyes, and if I did, I’m pretty sure that the light would’ve attacked and invaded my eyes, proceeding to burn the men of the village alive and raping all the village women, keeping the children for future meals. So I lay in bed listening to Hamish and Andy podcasts until my body had enough will to wake itself up properly, and here I am. I was watching I am Sam on television last night, and it ended at like 5 minutes into the wee morning, so at midnight I went online, not thinking anyone would be online, because honestly, who would be AWAKE AT MIDNIGHT ON A NORMAL DAY? NO NORMAL PERSON WOULD, TAKE ME FOR EXAMPLE. But there were like 70 people online, WHAT THE HELL? You guys are all bats, or insomniacs or just plain crazy. As soon as I got online I got like 6 people saying the exact same thing to me “You’re online at midnight?! That’s a first!”. YEAH, BECAUSE I’M SANE, AND I DON’T USUALLY GO ONLINE AT MIDNIGHT LIKE 70 of you nutcases.

I’m barely awake at school if I sleep at 10, and any later then that would mean me walking in A block and suddenly falling to the ground into slumber. OH LOL THAT REMINDS ME, THE ESSAY THAT CHEONG MADE US DO BECAUSE WE DIDNT BRING OUR SPORTS UNIFORM. “Explain the importance of bringing the appropriate equipment, and what effect it has on your education”, or something like that. One page mimimum. What was this, some sort of American high school teen movie? Well, I wrote about MATURITY, ORGANISATION, RELIABILITY and most importantly - the school’s motto - SINCERITY, SCHOLARSHIP AND …SENSIBILITY. YEAH. And because I want to waste some more time before going back to do assignments:

THE ____ WORST SONGS IN THE WORLD
1.

Yahh Trick/Bitch Yahh - Soulja Boy, OR WHATEVER THE HELL ITS CALLED. LMFAO THIS SONG. I actually soiled my pants laughing when I first heard this song on the radio in the car, and then I went to YouTube it and I died. What the hell? If you think this is really music, then you’re on crack. Maybe I’m just not able to ~appreciate the creative side of it~ but THERE IS. NO. CREATIVE SIDE TO IT. Let me run you through the music video. Man in suit, checking watch, probably principal of school.

Add a random chubby naked guy mowing the lawn, cut to “Soulja boy” and friend playing a video game involving a bratz like gangster pounding someone on the head? (to be reviewed). Soulja is rung up by his dad imploring him to go to school, to which he replies “YAHH” (?? RESPECT FOR ELDERS - I DON’T SEE ANY RESPECT, BITCH.) He hangs up, mumbles something incoherent to his friend, starts laughing. The bratz gangster jumps out of the video game, and they start running away from the principal.

The rest of the music video is basically them scremaing “YAHH TRICK YAHH!” and “GET OUT MY FACE, GET OUT MY FACE, GET OUT MY FACE!” There are parts where Soulja’s friend screams gibberish, literally. I’m not saynig it for effect, its gibberish. “SOULJA BOY CAN I.. YARRR BKLAJGKLAJGKLAGA YARR!” And the parts where its not gibberish, it sounds like it anyway because they REFUSE TO SPEAK COHERENTLY, CHOOSING TO SCREAM BUT MANAGE TO MUMBLE AT THE SAME TIME.  I don’t see any principals who would actually appear on their delinquent student’s doorstep to get them to go to school. Are they even allowed to do that?

2.

Sweet About Me - Gabriella Chinchilla. HOE, YOU AIN’T NO AMY WINEHOUSE, QUIT TRYING TO BE HER. Wino > Everyone > Chinchilla. I don’t even know how to start with this song, AND GORDON AND PATRICK AND ROGER AND ANGIE KEEP SINGING IT IN MY FACE TO ANNOY ME. I DON’T UNDERSTAND how anyone can like this song, or how Chinchilla is dubbed  the “new voice of music”. IF SHES THE NEW VOICE OF MUSIC THEN MY ASS THAT HAS NO MUSICAL CAPABILITY AT ALL IS THE NEW POP SENSATION OF ‘08.

The lyrics make no sense at all, besides the one line “Sweet about me, nothing’s sweet about me”, which is repeated about five hundred times throughout the song. WE GOT IT, YOU’RE A MEAN PERSON, YOU’VE POINTED IT OUT TO ME SO MANY TIMES MY EARS HAVE BLED NOW. Her voice annoys me to no end, its played on the radio every second song and its just trash. I DON’T CARE IF SHE’S 16, CAN SHE STAY OUT OF THE MUSIC INDUSTRY UNTIL SHE CAN PRODUCE MSUIC THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’M WALLOWING IN A PIT OF NAILS WITH BULLDOGS ATTATCHED TO BOTH ARMS?

3. There was more but I’m tired now.

I don’t really expect anyone to actually comment anymore. I’ve realised that when you start your blog out or you revamp it, you get a flood of commenting for the first 10 or so entries and then people bugger off, I start becoming unmotivated to blog, it dies a slow death and then I revamp it again and people come back. Well, this time I’m going to try and avoid doing that, and keep on blogging, even if this blog becomes one of those Western cowboy towns and in the background all you can see is a tumbleweed running around. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK.